Early—kinda. It’s kinda early but there have been mornings way earlier than his where I have been in full swing living a life or looking back on a life. Right now I am re-writing part of an old journal that I found. Looking down the block I see the workers unloading the vegetable truck, with the window closed I can’t hear the noisy work but I know it is a noisy job. Loading the crates of vegetables and fruits onto the truck and the crates are heavy even when only partly full. Then the crates are rolled to the back in the storage area or the front to be arranged for sale. I comment, “oh that looks good” or when a really brown and musty looking crate is pulled out, “ai-ya! When when were those picked, last month?”
Bananas are the hardest to judge. When they are bright yellow and firm I put a bunch in my cart. When I get them home, open them, they’re hard as hell. I bought a bunch that were too raw…unripe. hard. not sweet. I’ll try again next time.
The first day of the month…the last month of the year. We’re now in the last days of December. All of the trees are bare except for the ones that remain bright even during the Christmas and the winter season. Little beads of red shine among the green needles. On New Years Eve they entitle you to a kiss from a loved one, or maybe some secret one you’ve had a crush on for a long time.
For lazier people (like me) you can look over the holiday lists you’ve gone over recently and found special requests or saw something that was originally too pricey but is now affordable.
And this time is when you feel more like the holiday is really here. The trees are up, the lights are bright, christmas carols are playing there’s a crowd moving in every direction.
Breathe in Christmas!
Thanksgiving isn’t as big a holiday as others. Only the U.S. and Canada celebrate it. And Native Americans were really the first ones to celebrate it. Maybe at the full moon or the new moon since those are days they took note of. Going by this way of measuring time they would have had a Thanksgiving at sometime near the first moon of the early winter. It was probably held indoors since it could be cold by then. There would games like throwing arrows through hoops and betting on them. We stood in a big circle with our clans people. Mothers people were in one clan and our fathers people in another. Some prayers would be said and some questions answered had would help us stay on the red road. This thanksgiving time makes me think of this but I never went to this ceremony, I just remember what my dad told me.
It’s 10:34 and Empire and Star just went off. It’s been so long since the last time I watched them. On Empire, the youngest son was shot by a White guy over something to do with the business and the youngest son just found out his girlfriend was pregnant. Star also found out she’s pregnant.
I noticed there are a lot of pregnancies in the last few years. Every rock star, movie star, model, everybody’s having or had a baby. Every time you watch the news somebody famous is announcing they are having or just had a baby. Rich and famous people are buying Black or Asian babies…even flying to Africa and China to get them.
Why don’t they just adopt kids that are already born and need a mother and/or father to raise them? And why don’t the government give money to provide families help with whatever problem they are having.
I’m gonna take a break now but it’s time to plan for the future.
Today was a hot but happy day. I had a string of times I forgot moments and times little flashes of moments that I clearly remembered time.
I just got a call from an insurance woman about a car we owned – and then sold about sixteen years ago. We told them we no longer have car, but they have been calling about it for years. The callers all have Indian accents so I guess they are calling from India. They probably bought a list of car owners with old cars. When that list is gone through they must sell it and scam continues. I wonder how it ended up with a car we owned…so many years ago and traded it in, and got a new one? A newer one, we never had a new car. Newer than the previous car only. Anyway these MFs have been calling for years.
Obviously, ours is not the only family they’ve been calling. Our last name is clearly Chinese so I wonder if it’s some Chinese list but then they would have a bunch of people who can’t speak English, a waste of time. How do you think we should deal with this? Cause if it’s us today, it will be you tomorrow.
Earth Day has passed a few days ago, so this must have been written then. I’m writing again, fresh. It’s not “Earth Day” do they still celebrate Earth Day? I see floods and earthquakes and but there’s no big investigative reports. I don’t hear any real news about the people…but I’m sure I once saw a video about a catastrophe. But my brother plays his Hawaiian CD of Hawaiian people singing every morning and I’m sure if people were facing flood and avalanches they would be telling us about about it and not just playing ‘feel good’ music. But in the back of my mind I am feeling the need to calm things down, to slow things down and to remember things sometime have to change suddenly. I keep thinking of one of the songs on the CD “in the island, we do it island style, from the mountain to the ocean, from the windward to the leeward side.”
Rain is powerful. We’ve thought that in passing, as a thought we saw pass by over our heads. But today it became clear. Rain is power-full. There is the power of the rain as it thunders and swirls from above, washing away that which has been lingering on for months. It’s been up and down then a shaky but perfect landing.
So take a breath and get a start on your new life. Center yourself and think. Then ask husband or wife. Then walk in faith.
I look out the window and I see many colored lights flashing. It’s a month past Christmas, and I saw about five of the last Christmas trees tied up today and out waiting for the garbage truck. but now it’s 9:00 pm and there is still a festive feeling in Flushing Chinatown. then I remembered—Chinese New Year! Maybe about a week away.
I know this is will be the Year of the Dog. I wonder what Dog represents the year? The Chinese dog (it has a lot of long fur). Shi Tzu?
This is really the time to remember our Dog brothers and sisters. They are still our canine lucky charms who go through the cold, the rain. the snow to keep us safe. Some humans treat them as they would like to be treated. They walk them under umbrellas, give them drinks when they’re thirsty, all the things our pets need. They also give them things human need and dogs don’t need…sweet food, fat, drugs.
We’re backing away from these poisons and finding out the true ways of health. Food that we can eat as it is. Or put it on our faces.
Breathe in, breathe out! Let’s go!
We’ve just celebrated Chinese New Year. Later I will read what I’ve written about it. Of course it won’t be like the old days of collecting red envelopes from my family, or later days of collecting them from the local store owners. I don’t remember seeing anyone from the past although if they walked right in front of me, I wouldn’t know them. It seems like years since I’ve seen Bro Xu, reading though this dairy or journal I see that he last contacted me in December and showed me a picture of his daughter who is now a little girl and not a baby….I remember how she looked as a baby and how she looks as a little girl. I remember how he used to look a lil on the skinny side and now he’s more buff. In one pic, did he have a glass of wine? It seems like I remember that….I am separating my sentences with …. because i’ve messed my punctuation somehow. I’ll just finish it like this for now and fix it on the next page…Looking out the window, my desk is beside a window. This window used to have a blurry film over the glass. It’s been like that as long as I can remember. But I remember asking my brother this summer if we could clean this window. He looked at me strangely, I guess cause this window’s been like this for so many year. A few days later the super came and he took out two window frames and put in two new windows. It’s like a whole new world has been revealed. I see sky, and the library two blocks away…a street with hair salons and drugstores and…well actually I see across the street not on this side. And for some reason it’s gotten darker across the street. I remember seeing more colored lights last night. Oh, maybe for Chinese New Year!