One Of The Worst Days Here

brother had a bunch of the older scouts over last night and they were all in a good mood. they were talking, laughing and cooking up a storm. a couple brought their girlfriends along. i said hi, but of course i knew none of them. i remembered some faces cause i’d seen – and remembered them since last summer, and summer would soon be here again.

i heard brother’s laughing voice as he joked around with the guys and two girls who’d joined them and i realized it was not a usual sound, him laughing and joking. i tried to remember the past, because it seemed like he had been happier some time in the past. a year ago…two years, four years ago? i didn’t laugh much either, did i used to? what did i laugh about? i didn’t remember laughing for a long time. everyday was the same, waking up, washing, brushing teeth, doing assignments  and meeting with the teacher once a month.

i never saw brother’s girlfriend or remembered meeting her or remembered hearing of her. but until recently i could hear something in the morning and forget it by the evening.  i am remembering things for longer periods of time now. there’s a beginning, and a middle and an end. the way normal people remember things.



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