School has ended and i’m taking a break. I need the summer vacation to regroup and catch up to where i was. Or embark on something new. The day to day work of finding where i was and how to get back there…that stress is over. As i recover many memories about myself and who i was/am there is a relief. there is also a concern about what causes the gap in my memory, how there can be no mother and then one day i remember a day in the past playing in the snow me, mom and little brother (he really was little then) against dad, brother and uncle. i focused on brother because dad was way better than me, so at least i could get some could hits in. Uncle was taking it easy on my little brother. i glanced over at my mom and wham! wham! wham! she hit my dad twice and hit my uncle once! she could throw with both hands! i focused on brother and dad and mom was getting dad and her brother. i never saw anyone throw like her. and the i realized that i hadn’t seen her do it before. then i was slowly waking up and it was just a dream but a dream that really happened. i remembered it. And I remembered that she was now living in China and has a beauty shop there. And my little brother was with her, now he was fifteen. I wondered if he was tall or still a fai jai? Hmm, that “jai”, is that Jai’s name? How come I remember some Cantonese words? My dad speaks different languages but he doesn’t speak Cantonese. When i play with Sesen and Jai there’s something that I almost remember.