When You Least Expect It – Expect It

Today was Sunday, my day off. Every day i stretch, flex, and do an exercise program before I even get out of bed. Everyday think that maybe i will be back to the self i was before the accident, but there are aches, pains and stiffness. A major turning point came on thanksgiving when brother helped me walk a cross some steps into a small bathroom at someones home. it was hard, and something I was doing for the first time, and I did it. And afterwards I remembered that day and that walk and that it had been on thanksgiving. As my ability to walk became better my mind became stronger. i was saying “yes i like this and no i do not like that.” Well even if i said i didn’t like it. I’d still eat it but said i would not eat it the next time. Miss Ruby had worked as a home attendant for many years from the time she left Trinidad and came to America. She usually had old patients, i was the first young person she had. ok, it’s midnight. i’ll finish this tomorrow.

2)

i woke up this morning and from where the sun’s light was reflecting on the ceiling i could tell it was almost nine o’ clock. i looked at the framed writing on the wall but this time i could read the four chinese words “tien di ren fu”. Heaven or God was Tien Di, Ren was People, Fu was luck. so the idea that i could make out a Chinese sentence in my mind was amazing. I was making improvement on my own. I look out of the window now, and i see and recognize things. I see a building that i know is a library and i know they have been renovating it and that people had demonstrations there and I signed  up with the Green Party there when I turned 18.

I saw two Asian young men in suits wearing white short sleeved shirts and knew they were probably Korean ‘elders’ of the Mormon Religion (now called Church of the Latter Day Saints). There are a lot of them here because there are a lot of  Asians here to convert who don’t believe in god, ex-communist chinese. but then my dad did and does believe in communism and he and his dad my grand dad were daoists  even back in Fujian. And i have been in Taoist festivals and processions in Flushing and many of the believers followed or knew of Kuan Yin or Guan Gong or Xi Wang Mu long before they came to the U.S. Especially Chinese countries outside of China like Taiwan, Hong Kong, Malaysia, Indonesia, etc. I even heard there are Taoist temples in Africa, but I only heard it, I don’t know.

Ok, now I remember what the Korean Mormons reminded me of.  Recently, maybe a few months ago a Korean guy was in a Chinese cyber cafe. Some of the members of the Chinese gang that ran the place confronted him and the fought. i have a feeling he was good. some of the Chinese ran out and came back with some more Chinese for this one Korean. They beat him down to the ground punching and kicking him and he got a knife — maybe from his pocket i don’t know, and stabbed up and the Chinese kid was dead. Of course i’m sorry a Chinese died, especially a young person who did not live to change his lifestyle and become a hero for the Chinese people in flushing. That’s a choice all of us in gangs have to make. when i was in a gang one thing i would only let there be a one on one fight, ore two on two. if the other side won i’d give them some kicks with all my force and then they could go.

So this is a big thing now in Flushing, “the Chinese killed a Korean!” Yeah, but the whole gang was beating him! Wouldn’t you use anything necessary to save your own life?

2) I saw brother Xu last night. I had written something, as i have done for about a year. Hoping for but not expecting a reply. But suddenly there was a reply, brief and polite. All the cool, suave things i’d practiced saying disappeared. I was tongue-tied and said a few things I don’t remember. It ended with him saying he would see me sometime this or next week. My heart was beating like it was Christmas Eve. I said goodnight before i dragged it out and became a nucience.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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